I know. I KNOW!! I'm such a slacker. It's so hard for me to blog. Or to find the time to blog. I think I partially feel like it's a chore and it's not always therapeutic... But I know it actually is. I'll get back on it. I promise. I'll try to be more consistent. I have LOTS to share, so when it's not 3:30 in the morning and I don't need to be getting to sleep, I'll write a real entry. In the meantime, I just wanted to say I'm sorry and I know I'm a slacker, and the Lord is working on me to be better. lol Toodles!

Shanise

Today had been an interesting day. I woke up mostly on my own, and I wasn't even sleepy! I've been taking vitamins and using this cleansing detox program and I think it's really helping. The detox symptoms are a bit annoying, but God is good anyway. I still haven't eaten breakfast yet and I need to do my workout so I have to figure both of those out. I'm completely broke and I really need to eat. This should be interesting cause there really isn't any food in the house. OK. Not much else to report at the moment. Like my new layout?? I think it's the cutest thing! Check out the side links, as they've changed a bit.

For those of you wondering if I'm still a vegetarian or a vegan, the answer is yes. I will say that the economy makes it tough to eat the things I would prefer to eat and actually makes me eat things that I really don't want, but I not gonna sacrifice overall health for the sake of "eating healthy". In life, there must be balance, and though I would LOVE to eat mostly raw foods, (which just means fruits, veggies, nuts, legumes, and sprouted grains) I know that that isn't practical. Not for me anyway. Every person needs to do what is best for them. When I can get back to my "ideal" diet, then wonderful. Until then, I'm not gonna malnourish myself. That's just foolish.

So. I will be eating to the best of my ability. For the record, I don't like tofu and soy products agitate my asthma, so it's harder than it seems. But with God, I can do anything! (Phil. 4:13).

Ok. I'm off to eat. Mwah!

Shanise

Hello All! Long time no see. I've got lots of news! God is so GOOD!! I'm so excited for the things that He has in store for me. I've grown in the last few months and can only go higher from here. I've been taking a bible study course at church since January and it has been such a blessing. I'm learning so much about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and how He works and just how faithful, gracious, merciful and AMAZING He is! Hallelujah! I am really really excited for the things to come and cannot wait to do His work in the kingdom.

I just recently purchased a book by Beth Moore titled "Praying God's Word" and let me tell you; unbelieveable! It's a complete blessing to realize the power of praying God's word in your life! The bible shows us in Isaiah 55:11 that God says "so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." (NIV) What a joy it is to know that you can have all the things the bible promises because God said so! So awesome.

That being said, I know that I have victory over my stronghold because God says I do. It is evidenced in this scripture:

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (New International Version)

3For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Isn't that wonderful news?? I've added the emphasis there on verse 4. I think it's great that God has called us to fight off the enemy in our lives and focus solely on Him and His purpose for us.

"What is a stronghold?" you may ask. Well, the apostle Paul does a masterful job under the direction of the Holy Spirit explaining what a stronghold is in 2 Corinthians 10:5 - "every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God". Anything that tries to act bigger than God in your mind or tell you that you can't do something is a stronghold. There are all sorts: Pride, Depression, Rejection, Feeling Unloved, Unbelief, Idolatry. The list goes on. The one I am seeking to demolish is Addiction.

"Addiction? Really?" Yes, really. My addiction is not typical, but it does exist. I am addicted to food. Yes, I am not afraid to admit it. Admission is the first step to liberty. If I am at all going to be free of this stronghold, I must admit to having it so I can get rid of it. I've learned a lot about food in the last 2 years. But thus far I've only relied on my own strength to conquer food and the way I thought about it. I knew my thought life had to change, but what I didn't know (or at least I didn't practice) was that I couldn't do it alone. It is IMPOSSIBLE to to do anything without Christ (John 15:5). I have a helper that will never fail me!

Now with my new found knowledge, I am putting myself to work. Knowing without doing is not actually knowing. So there must be some action involved. I am letting the Holy Spirit guide me on the right path (His path) to success. It was no coincidence that I was introduced to Raw Foods and Vegetarianism all those years ago. I have acquired fantastic resources to accompany me on this journey. Armed with that knowledge I am going to fabricate an eating plan that will glorify God and help me to live better. After all, the "body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own" (1 Cor. 6:19).

It is important that I remember that it is not I who is at work in me, but the power of the Holy Spirit working in me. I am determined to keep my body blameless in His sight.

1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 (New International Version)

23May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.

With alllll that being said, today is the first day of my "live-it". Not "die-t" but "live-it". I will live for it is Christ that lives in me! I do not have to give in to temptation and sin!

Romans 8:9-11 (New International Version)

9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

It will be an everyday fight, but as long I a continually renew my thoughts, I will be fine. These next scriptures exemplify just that.

Luke 9:23 (New International Version)

23Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

Romans 12:2 (Amplified Bible)

2Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

I've started tracking my process on FitDay.com and I'm journalizing my progress. The Lord has pretty much told me that less is more and that I don't need fancy gym equipment and expensive tapes to become more active (although I will still USE my expensive tapes, HA!). I am committed to become a runner. ::GASP:: "Shanise doesn't RUN!" Well, I do now. I will duplicate my entries here so you all can see. I'll post it at the end of this post. I'm off now to find some food. ttyl!

Shanise

So, today was the first day that I took action to take control of this food addiction stronghold! Amen! I am excited for the journey ahead, but let me tell you, this running thing is hard! I thought I'd be ok with running 1 minute and walking 2 minutes and repeating that 10 times. But on this mountain, it's harder than I thought. And the temperature this morning was 18 degrees! You know my asthma was not happy. But I can only get better. I was out there about a half hour and walked .69 miles. I'm thinking that today should be a great food day. I've had 2 bananas thus far and a bit of my Orange Sports Drink. It's only 10:30 in the morning and I have yet to really start the day. We'll see how the rest of this goes. By the grace of God, I WILL complete and maintain my goal! I'd like to run in the NYC Marathon in 2010. Pray for me! I will update this later to inform you of my feelings. Ciao!

Shanise

The only thing constant in this world is change.

It's something I've grown to realize. So much happens and so much will continue to happen. I can look back at previous posts and see where my mind was. I can look forward into the future and see what I'd like to be there. I can focus on the present and see where I am. However, the only thing that will ever be constant is change. I will want change, crave change, achieve change.

The issue is not change. It's negative or positive change that is the problem child. Achieving positive change is and probably always will be the issue. I have witnessed so many changes all around me the past few months. I've seen people change for the better and change for the worse. I've seen people remain in a constant. My address has changed, my finances have changed, my mental anguish has changed, my diet has changed, my emotions ALWAYS change; everything about me has changed.

At first, I looked at myself and was upset that I wasn't where I wanted to be 6 months ago today. However, I see now that all I'd REALLY asked for was change. Positive change was implied, but really, change is all I achieved. I was upset at this fact. What I've come to realize is that it's OKAY that I achieved change, because change is constant. It's inevitable. It's healthy. The ups and downs of life are all change and as long as you realize that change is constant and change is normal, then you have the opportunity to grow, which is all we're ever looking to do anyway.

I need a positive change. Life will always be life. Change will always be change. I can't do anything about it except learn to live it and ask God for the strength wisdom and knowledge to persevere and get through it. I am constantly changing AND growing and all I can do is thank God for the growth. The good times, the bad times, they make you who you are.

My goal is to be a good person and to do God's will. I just want to succeed at that. I can't beat myself up over everything else. Life is too precious and there are more important things to worry about. Worrying doesn't change things. Action does.

If I'm unhappy with certain things in my life, then I need to take the necessary steps to change them. With God's help, I can do anything!!

Yeah. I'm frustrated. For many reasons. I don't know that I feel like making this post long and drawn out, so I'll try to keep it short. The summer was very interesting. Very interesting. With my back toward Boston, I thought that maybe I'd feel some sense of renewal, and I have. But the truth of the matter is that I miss Boston terribly (gasp!) and I kinda wish I could go back. I haven't placed what exactly I miss about Boston, but I miss it.

School is.....Let's not talk about what happened with school. Let's just say I'm starting a new chapter in my life. I'm excited and yet disappointed. I was gonna talk about it, but I've decided that it's water under the bridge.

I want to be mostly raw vegan. I can't be. I have no access to organic produce and it bothers me to no end. I think maybe that's what I miss most about Boston. I love living in this house and being with my family, but I miss the independence that I had in Boston. I'd love to move back to the city (New York, that is) but I can't afford it. I guess I just have to try and make it work here.

I seem to slip every 3 months or so from raw vegan to crappy vegetarian. I'm currently on "crappy vegetarian." I just need to make a change that is slower and more permanent...

I found a new love. Avocados!!! I thought I hated them. They were green and slimy and mushy (kinda like Slimer from Ghost Busters). Not appealing at all. Then I went to the store and bought 2 to add to a conditioner I was making for my hair out of avocados and mayonnaise. Perfect, I thought, as I would never eat either of them. Well something tempted me to try the avocado and it seems that I fell in love. At first Ii thought "eww...this is......" but before the words "nasty" or "yucky" could come out of my mouth, a "good" slipped out and I found myself eating more and more of the avocado. The more I ate, the more I wanted it. I would up putting it in a smoothie that I made and it was soooooo good.

The smoothie was creamy, satisfying and tasty. I call it my "Bery" Avonana smoothie. It was alchemy at its best. I used 1 banana, 1 avocado, about a cup of blueberries and about 2 cups of strawberries. I also added some MSM and some Maca powder. Let me tell you......BOY OH BOY! Later on for some texture, I added a handful of goji berries to my glass. They were pretty good too. I think I need to start buying them from Whole Paycheck though. I got these from china town.

Today has been a great food day. I picked up some young coconuts that I can't WAIT to open and I also got some dates for a sweet treat later on and also to sweeten up some nut milk that I'm gonna make. So excited. AVOCADOSSSSSSSSS.......lol. Ok, I'm done.


Today I had:

Green smoothie (spinach and peaches)
a banana
Kale and Avocado Salad.........YUM (Kale, avocado, olive oil, lemon juice, grape tomatoes)

Addendum:

Enzyme Boost smoothie (from Raw Food, Real World)
papaya
pineapple
coconut water
sweetener (I used dates....yum)
tiny squeeze of lemon juice
vanilla extract
salt

^^This smoothie was the BOMB!

and the last thing I ate was a cucumber. Raw, unadulterated, skin and all.....glorious.

I'm starting over. So much has gone on in the last 3 months and I'm desperate for a change. I need one. So I'm starting over. No more excuses. No more sorrow. No more sulking. Just pure, unadulterated change. What's changing you may ask? Well for one, I'm living for me. Not to please others. Definitely to love others, but never seeking their approval. I'm gonna love whether they want me to or not, whether they deserve it or not and I'm gonna be that person that you can't resist.

Something else I'm working to change is the way I treat myself. I need to get to the root of the problems that I have that continue to keep me in a vicious cycle of procrastination. I will start something, be completely excited about it, and let it fall off into the wind. Not gonna do that anymore. I'm tired of starting over, so this will be the last time I do it. I'm gonna continue on and press through all the struggles so I can reap the reward at the end of the race. Turning back is not an option.

I'm gonna to try to be 100% raw. For real. Seriously. I'm not kidding.

I know that cravings are temporary and I have the self control to focus on eating healthy, good, wholesome, LIVING foods that will nourish my body completely and have me as healthy as possible. With health comes beauty, and that's what I'm looking for; internal and external beauty.

Another thing I'd like to do is REST. The 22.5 years I've been on this planet, I can only remember how many times I've actually gotten rest after sleeping. It's aggravating. I just want to get some rest. Whether I sleep for 1 hour or 16 hours, I just can't seem to rejuvenate any cells in my body. I'm always tired, and fatigue leads to physical stress and strain, which leads to emotional and mental stress and strain, which aid insomnia. And the cycle continues. NO MORE.

So this is to document my journey to change. Again. lol

In other news, I've got a wonderful job with a wonderful company and I'm excited about that. I'm getting to know who I am and what I want, and am excited about that as well. So much in store for me. Not gonna let the bad things get me down anymore, because getting mad never changed anyone's circumstance. I'm just gonna be happy and praise God. :-)

We'll see what the future holds.

Today I ate:

A whole BUNCH of grapes
A yummy salad with red lettuce, spinach, alfalfa sprouts, sunflower sprouts, and grape tomatoes
A handful or two of raw cashews
3-5 bananas
Some homemade sweet potato chips, some dusted with nutritional yeast
Water (not nearly enough)

I'll only get better with time. :-)

Ciao