I'm starting over. So much has gone on in the last 3 months and I'm desperate for a change. I need one. So I'm starting over. No more excuses. No more sorrow. No more sulking. Just pure, unadulterated change. What's changing you may ask? Well for one, I'm living for me. Not to please others. Definitely to love others, but never seeking their approval. I'm gonna love whether they want me to or not, whether they deserve it or not and I'm gonna be that person that you can't resist.

Something else I'm working to change is the way I treat myself. I need to get to the root of the problems that I have that continue to keep me in a vicious cycle of procrastination. I will start something, be completely excited about it, and let it fall off into the wind. Not gonna do that anymore. I'm tired of starting over, so this will be the last time I do it. I'm gonna continue on and press through all the struggles so I can reap the reward at the end of the race. Turning back is not an option.

I'm gonna to try to be 100% raw. For real. Seriously. I'm not kidding.

I know that cravings are temporary and I have the self control to focus on eating healthy, good, wholesome, LIVING foods that will nourish my body completely and have me as healthy as possible. With health comes beauty, and that's what I'm looking for; internal and external beauty.

Another thing I'd like to do is REST. The 22.5 years I've been on this planet, I can only remember how many times I've actually gotten rest after sleeping. It's aggravating. I just want to get some rest. Whether I sleep for 1 hour or 16 hours, I just can't seem to rejuvenate any cells in my body. I'm always tired, and fatigue leads to physical stress and strain, which leads to emotional and mental stress and strain, which aid insomnia. And the cycle continues. NO MORE.

So this is to document my journey to change. Again. lol

In other news, I've got a wonderful job with a wonderful company and I'm excited about that. I'm getting to know who I am and what I want, and am excited about that as well. So much in store for me. Not gonna let the bad things get me down anymore, because getting mad never changed anyone's circumstance. I'm just gonna be happy and praise God. :-)

We'll see what the future holds.

Today I ate:

A whole BUNCH of grapes
A yummy salad with red lettuce, spinach, alfalfa sprouts, sunflower sprouts, and grape tomatoes
A handful or two of raw cashews
3-5 bananas
Some homemade sweet potato chips, some dusted with nutritional yeast
Water (not nearly enough)

I'll only get better with time. :-)

Ciao